The dangers of drawstrings and other Pete Wentz adventures

So far in my journalistic endeavors, my worst fear has been getting a what-idiot-wrote-this-crap reaction from readers. My fear worsens when I give that reaction to other writers, case in point, an article entitled “Rocker ‘Nearly Got Hung’ by His Hoodie,” located on the Popeater Website.

I realize I was asking for a sketchy article when I clicked on the link to popeater.com from the AOL Music site, but the link was enticing. I guess the Popeaters did one thing right.

The headline implies that a rock start, specifically Fall Out Boy member Pete Wentz, had a recent, extreme accident. I pictured something along the lines of him getting into a brawl with Panic at the Disco members and them attempting to strangle him with his drawstrings.

Wrong. Apparently Wentz simply revealed to Popeater that he had a near-death experience two years ago when the drawstrings on his hooded sweatshirt tangled around him while he was crowd surfing. This story came in addition to several poorly stated answers to ridiculously random questions.

Still, I have to admit, I do like the quote that goes along with that part of the story.

“I couldn't breathe and I nearly got hung which I was probably fit for at the time,” Wentz said.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, Pete. In fact, I would say your biggest mistake so far in your career is probably talking to Popeater.

http://www.popeater.com/music/article/pete-wentzs-near-death-by-hoodie-scare/228463

Nice to meet you, Cutout.

I have a great deal of respect for people who are truly dedicated to their chosen causes. However, I believe some people give their attention to causes that are less critical than others.

Take for example a woman formerly known as Jennifer Thornburg. According to an AP article found on USA TODAY’s Web site, she recently officially changed her name to CutoutDissection.com, or Cutout for short. Her new name is the URL for a Web site advocating the elimination of dissection assignments in classrooms.

When it comes to her particular soap box, this tactic is extreme but successful.

“Once they find out what my name is, they want to know more about what the website is about,” Cutout said.

Personally, I have nothing against saving animals. I don’t necessarily condone using small animals as learning tools, partly because I’d rather slam my pinky in a car door than slice into a formaldehyde-soaked frog. Still, I think there are more pressing issues facing humanity. I feel that her idea for spreading the word for a cause could have been put to better use.

At the same time, I understand her decision. Names like stopworldhunger.com and eliminateAIDSinAfrica.org would not produce as nifty a nickname as Cutout.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2008-10-13-namechange_N.htm?loc=interstitialskip

Photo essay: brotherhood and battles

As a girl looking in on the little world of my two nephews, I see that brotherhood is something I may never fully understand. Their relationship is multifaceted and, at times, volatile. Still, no matter the status of their tempers at any given second, their brotherhood is absolutely priceless.As individuals, both Bryce, 9, and Dallas, 5, are quintessential little boys, constantly battling the forces of adulthood.



As individuals, both Bryce, 9, and Dallas, 5, are quintessential little boys, constantly battling the forces of adulthood.

Bryce, above, was born when I was 11 years old and practically lived at my house until we moved, so I have seen him shape into the loving, stubborn and antsy Bryce we see in this collection of pictures. The stunned face you see in this photo is because I caught him sneaking out of our pantry with a handful of Halloween candy right after his mother had told him he couldn’t have any before bed.

Sadly, I have not been as geographically close to Dallas, above, because we live 800 miles apart, but that doesn’t mean I know him any less. Being the little brother, he is constantly watching his big brother for mischief ideas, which Bryce gives willingly and plentifully. Although he has mastered the tantrum, he is also a sweet, sensitive spirit with a curiosity for everything. This photo showcases his mean streak, but he has the unique ability to turn from naughty to nice in a snap.

Just like unstable chemicals, when these two get together, you never know what will happen. You might as well surrender and watch the show because Seek and Destroy, as my sister sometimes calls them, have the upper ground in most skirmishes. Many times teamwork becomes their heaviest artillery in the war against the grown-ups. Here, Bryce incorporated his little brother in the mission to capture the afore-mentioned Halloween candy, once again banned by the treat Nazis.

As the older, more experienced soldier, Bryce often strategizes. Dallas studies Bryce’s every move in order to be as much like his brother as possible. Even when the tactics are as innocuous as riding bikes, wherever Bryce goes, Dallas follows. Even so, this training may not last long because Dallas is learning quickly.

From an outsider’s perspective, I deduce that the key component to the success of this brotherhood is always having backup. In one of those priceless moments, Dallas, guitar, and Bryce, keyboard, put on an impromptu jam session while Tim McGraw sang “Last Dollar” in the background. This particular cuteness tactic was very effective, as it made me want to go MIA from the adult troop and join the boys’ army.

Like any other regiment, battles within the ranks break out between the boys. It may be a struggle for power, but whatever the reason, the idea of sharing oftentimes brings about unrest in the brotherhood. Here, Bryce has control of the single tennis ball, but Dallas is seeking to take command of the toy. Dallas doesn’t take the loss well.

The same result comes when Dallas has something Bryce wants. In this case, after the jam session, Dallas took over on keyboard, but without Bryce’s consent. Despite the size difference, the little brother held his ground with an occasional shove. Bryce eventually retreated.

Although it seems the brotherhood squad has a clear advantage in most cases, the adults still have some effective strategies when it comes to taking control of situations. One of the most successful weapons is separation. Here, at a local restaurant, there was no hesitation on the part of the grown-ups to put as much distance between the little soldiers as possible. For the most part, this resulted in a peaceful meal.

Despite their frequent, momentary battles, Bryce and Dallas are the epitome of brotherhood. They proudly display all the aspects of the complicated relationship, and they fight bravely alongside one another against the forces of adulthood. With moments like this one, I fear that we grown-ups should just give up the fight and let the cuteness take over.

From an outsider’s perspective, I deduce that the key component to the success of this brotherhood is always having backup. In one of those priceless moments, Dallas, guitar, and Bryce, keyboard, put on an impromptu jam session while Tim McGraw sang “Last Dollar” in the background. This particular cuteness tactic was very effective, as it made me want to go MIA from the adult troop and join the boys’ army.

Huh. We have more in common than I thought.

When I first encountered the article called “8 Love Lessons You Can Learn From Celebrity Crack-Ups” by Jessica Pressler, posted Oct. 6 on Glamour Magazine’s Web site, I had a good chuckle. What could I possibly learn from those silly, overexposed, narcissistic people?

Dang. I hate being wrong. It turns out that this particular piece, complete with flattering pictures of the famous subjects, focuses on advice that sounds similar to what my mother would tell me, especially the bit about listening to what other people say about your honey.

The snippet about Mario Lopez’s escapades proved to be the most disappointing to me. I must admit that I have been crushing on him since he was on “Saved by the Bell.” Since, according to this article, he has been caught cheating several times, I guess I’ll finally give up on him. I just don’t see how Slater could have turned into such a womanizer! It must be those dimples.

My favorite section was the one describing how the most beautiful women have been cheated on. It still hurts when I think of past experiences with that situation, but it’s good to know that Christie Brinkley was in the same boat as me at one point. I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing we have in common, besides our gender.

This goes to show that, although celebrities seem to be on a whole other planet, they experience many of the same things I do as an average girl trying to scrape my way through the crappiness of the dating world.

http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2008/10/8-love-lessons-you-can-learn-from-celebrity-crackups

The actor was great, but the salad dressing wasn't

It takes some work to make a sad situation in the news make people feel good. One article, “Remembering Paul Newman, Humanitarian and Actor,” by Richard Corliss, goes to show that the words an author chooses and how he or she puts them together can make any type of story have any kind of effect.

I was sad to hear about the passing of Paul Newman, not because I felt particularly close to him, but because my family members have always been fans of his acting. I knew this would constitute an oh-darn reaction from my mom.

Still, after reading this article on his death, I feel more inclined to admire Newman than to mourn his passing. As opposed to focusing on the tragic aspect that surrounds death, this author focused on the genuine, funny and inspiring events that made up Newman’s life. With an interesting comparison to other big-name stars and a catchy overview of Newman’s years, this article is an enjoyable read, even though it is comparable to an obituary.

I realize this type of article is not novel, but I think Corliss did an exceptional job celebrating Newman.

http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1845133-1,00.html